I Picture Her Happy

When I picture her

    Which happens more times than I would like

    Yet less times than certifies me as committable 

I picture her happy

How could she not be?

He loves her.

And when he loves you

It feels like every light you pass

    Every streetlight, every fluorescent hospital lamp, every candle

Is shining on you

Because every light is happy that you’re so happy

And wants to show you to the world as the epitome of the human smile

When he loves you

It feels like every walk you’re on is a stroll in the most abundant garden

Being a girl with the love of that boy puts an lightness in your step

Every song you hear is from his lips to your ears

When he loves you

His name is a prayer 

Spoken softly between bed sheets and against the fabric on his chest

He says your name too 

As if he has never heard anything so beautiful, so satisfying 

So you see, she must be happy

And I hope that she savors this feeling

I hope she knows how lucky she is

I hope she knows how fleeting a feeling like happiness can be

Because when he doesn’t love you anymore

Every light you pass only reminds the world there is no one walking next to you

    No one making sure you get home safe

Every walk you take becomes an act of desperation

    Hoping he is waiting for you around the corner with arms spread wide

Even your own name

    Yes, your own name

Your name feels so lonely knowing it will never pass through his lips again

I picture her happy